My name is Marissa Smith, I’m 19 years old and I live with my dad in beautiful, sunny San Diego.
I was born with HIV, and tested positive a year after my mother died from complications of AIDS. I was too young to really comprehend what it meant. When I tested positive I don’t recall how I felt to find out, I only remember the needle they used and the stick which was about to change my life in so many ways. My life changed; I no longer had my mom, instead I had HIV and no one knew what to do.
Growing up I never felt ashamed of my HIV this way I never felt that I was living a lie. Not many people cared about my status, the reactions I got were either scared, disgusted or ashamed. Some of my relatives cared, specifically my uncle was afraid that I would somehow spread being infected with HIV to their kids, so I was never able to play or be around them. It hurt that my family was like that but there wasn't much I could do. I found that people’s ignorance and discriminiation made me stronger. I soon started to educate my peers at school and the adults around me. I just didn't want people to be afraid of me.
I’ve been surrounded by drugs and alcohol for as long as I can remember. Inevitably I started experimenting too, but seeing the way it messed up my judgement, decisions, actions, and family I quit and I’m proud to say my experimental stage has passed and I’m drug free for over four years. My mother and father were both heavily involved with all sorts of drugs, and my mother contracted HIV while making irresponsible decisions shooting up or engageing in unprotected sex.
Despite the strong probability that I got HIV through my mom’s use of IV drugs, the people around me continued to use them. It amazed me how they carelessly put themselves at risk just so they could get high.
As a peer educator at the Univeristy of California San Diego, I want to put a face to HIV. I have dedicated a lot of my time to speaking at local colleges and schools because I want my peers to realize that, yes, they too can become infected with HIV.
I plan of going to college someday, I’m not sure what I’d major in, but I know that whatever I choose will allow me to continue changing people’s thoughts and actions towards HIV.
I love who I have become, I’m strong, confident and take on every challenge with open arms. I cant look at my HIV as a punishment, it’s a blessing thats made my life better.
Take care,
Marissa
Who’s Positive is gracious to Richard Pecjak of Sunset Productions (www.sunset-productions.com) for donating his time in taking photographs of Marissa for her profile.
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