Who's Positive

I thought I would repost this interview with my mom and I about being positive. Its a must watch interview. Let me know what you think.

Become a fan of Tom Donohue on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/nbirchfield#/pages/Tom-Donohue/12256382291?ref=ts

10 YEARS

01/20/2010

10 years ago, I lost someone I love – I mean really love. As I look back I realize how much my life has changed.

For those who know me real – real well. You know I travel with a teddy bear. I call her Leslie, after her original owner Leslie DeGarmo. I last saw Leslie in December of 1999. I can still close my eyes and see her leaning up against the wall Christmas Day. It would be the last day I was to see her alive. Just weeks before, we were driving on our way to the mall, and well… I said to her, “you know If I knew you’d say yes, I’d ask you to marry me”. I remember it clear as day because even though there was a joking undertone, there was a lot of truth to it.

I fell completely in love with her. She was my best friend, I’ve never used the word love as strongly as I do when I refer to her. Her smile, laugh – the things she use to say and the way she use to say it. I can still hear her voice, I see her eyes, I feel her around me. Every time I go to her grave, I feel the wind against my back as if she’s pushing me to leave and telling me to live my life, but I touch her stone, trace out her name with my fingers and close my eyes to see her, to hear her and wish she was still here.

So, today, I’ll take Leslie with me to work, I’ll buckle her up so she’s safe in the car and spend another day wondering the what if’s but realizing that my little Angel is never far from my thoughts, always on my mind and forever in my heart.

Leslie, today I miss you more than ever – it’s been 10 years and many things have happened in my life, but just know, you’ll always be my first love, I can never forget the moments we’ve shared – I am often lost without you, I love you so much, and miss you so much. I think about your accident, I think about the pain you must have had, I truly do not understand why you had to go through it, just know you will always be loved, you’ll always be missed and you’ll always be with me.

You know sometimes I like to post things on my journal which people at somepoint can go back one day to say "remember when". I hope when that happens I'll be around but if not then I leave a great gift when one day someone reads my words and thoughts as a memory which I have left behind.

Thanks to my sissy, I'm sharing pictures with you of me and my family, I've never shared before. I share these pictures because, this is how my life started, when I was just a kid growing up within a military family and pretty innocent. A time when I had no clue what my future had and in what direction it was going to have. A time when my grandparents were and are such an important figure in my life.

This firts picture of me is of me as a young kid I'm not sure how old I am but I bet my sissy will tell me:

Now this picture may suggest my sister (sissy) and her bro bro was prepared for war well - I was, I'm not sure what she was prepared for but this pic which was taken in 1987 I was 8 years old and sissy was 12. This picture was taken in 1987.

And Finally, there is my grandparents on my Mothers side. My Grandpa is very old fashioned and traditional with a temper, but you have to love him. My gradma which passed in 1993 was the most amazing person in my life. Her dedication to her husband, her determination to see us grow up through so many challenges she had living with cancer gives me hope that I too can and will fight as hard as her to see so many more things in my life and the lives of ppl around me. I love and miss you grandma

This was a story that CBS News did about me, (Tom Donohue) and Who's Positive a while back. It really shows off my tennis skills so I thought I would share it again... Enjoy! - http://www.cfnews13.com/MediaPlayer2/MediaPlayer.htm?video=Whos%20Positive&cat=Health&title=Who%20is%20HIV%20Positive?

There was an article on Poz magazines site about stigma not that long ago ( http://www.poz.com/articles/how_stigma_kills_hiv_2416_17574.shtml ). I was so saddened when I read both the article and the comments. I knew there was stigma, but I didn't realize how very very bad it still is. I have been extremely lucky that honestly I have encountered very little stigma in the last 10 years. The only place I have encountered it was from one of my brothers and even he is now coming around. There were some that commented that they were encountering stigma from their medical professionals, and I was so outraged and confused by this that I sat and cried for these people. One would thing that medical professionals would know better. The article also covered about positive women having babies and what people in general thought of that. The overwhelming consensus was against it. I'm so glad that when I was pregnant I didn't encounter those people because I might not have had my beautiful little girl.

I am now even more determined to not keep silent about being positive and I'm going to keep spreading awareness every chance I get. I hope the little bit that I do, and that others like Tom do, will make it easier for people to not feel they have to hide their status, and will let them know they are not alone we are all in this fight together.