World AIDS Day, how ironic. I once thought World AIDS Day was just on December 1st. I never imagined that World AIDS Day would be just another ordinary day in my life.“I have a dream”…. That’s how a very memorable statement of one of the nation’s most amazing leader’s speech began. Like him, I also had a dream. I had a dream that life was going to be filled with great accomplishments and that one step at a time I would fulfill each and every goal I set out in my lifetime. Those dreams were shattered on November 1, 2001. All my dreams and goals were put on hold. I became HIV positive. At the young age of 21, life had changed drastically. My hopes and dreams all were destroyed that very day when my doctor gave me the diagnosis. That dream that I once had was no longer a dream; life was about to become my ultimate worst nightmare. The guilt, shame, and hate all began to take over every emotion in my body. It was a true life changing experience; and the worst was soon to come. After the diagnosis, I went a whole year in denial, fell into a deep state of depression, and isolated myself from others. I began to live a life of self destruction, and soon lost control of whom I was and where I was going. I soon hit rock bottom.
Living with HIV has been the hardest challenge of my life. It’s the battle of a lifetime. There’s a war going on inside of me. How do you fight the enemy that lives within you? How do you learn to cope and move forward after being betrayed and sentenced to death? Those were my thoughts at one point. I had trusted and loved, and later betrayed. Now I believe that this was not a death sentence but more a curve ball that GOD threw my way. I had two options; to let this curve ball hit me and knock me down, or to catch it and run with it. I was never into sports, but I became a pro at catching curve balls. It was like being reborn again; I soon began the process of reinventing myself and figuring out my strengths and weaknesses. It’s not like HIV defines me, but it was so traumatic that it began to define who I was. I was no longer Jorge; I had become that guy that has HIV. This disease can take over your body and life. It challenges who you are, and how strong you really are.
Life continues to be a challenge no doubt about it. I have learned so much about life and myself. I value life and have a different perspective on things. Life will never be what it once was, but I wouldn’t change anything if given the opportunity. No, I’m not glamorizing HIV, not for a split second. For me, this experience has allowed me the opportunity to utilize this traumatic event to educate others, and change the way society views an individual impacted by HIV/AIDS. I have learned to take this experience and not ask GOD why, but how? How can I make life valuable? How can I change the world? How can I help others? How can I continue to learn to deal with the future curves balls that are waiting for me ahead?
What does World AIDS Day mean to me? For me, it’s about remembering those who have lost their lives due to HIV/AIDS. It’s not about celebrating those who have lost their battle. I don’t believe we lose the battle to AIDS. We fight everyday for just another day. This day allows me to celebrate the strength and courage of all those individuals who have fought their own battles. World AIDS Day is also about supporting those who are continuing to fight the biggest battle of their lives. Those individuals like me. I have learned to celebrate life and take this day as another birthday, because this day is like another birthday. I was reborn after HIV entered my life. I have welcomed HIV into my life, and accepted it as part of who I am. But I will never let it defined who I am; it’s just a part of me that’s special, and very important.
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