Jennifer's Journal

When I found out I had HPV the displasia was so bad that they were worried it would turn into cervical cancer. I had a procedure called a LEEP done the first time we found the displasia and the doctor I had seen for that procedure was a Gynecological Oncologist. He had recommended that if the displasia came back that I would need to get a hysterectomy. Well my first check up at 3 months was all clear and then they waited until it had been a year before I got my next pap to see if it was okay. Well my yearly pap showed abnormal cells again so my primary care doctor sent me to an OB/Gyn and we did the colpocopy and then a cone biopsy.

The only reason we went ahead with the cone biopsy was to see if it had turned cancerous before we did my hysterectomy. Those results came back negative for cancer, but I was very lucky according to my doctor because if I hadn't been vigilant it could have turned into cancer. I got my hysterectomy but still have to have yearly checks to see if there are further issues with the HPV.

Ok so all of this led me to look into issues women with HIV and HPV face. I found out from one study on this page that women with HIV are more likely to get HPV and have abnormalities with their cervix due to that. These issues as they pointed out on that page can lead to invasive cervical cancer. So because of this HIV positive women must get their yearly pap smears every year for as long as we live. It is important for all women to get them done no matter if they are poz or not. For some reason as the study showed women don't get their pap smears as they should the older they get.

I feel it is important for us to take our health into our own hands because no else is going to do it for us. You know your body better than anyone else, but if you don't take care of it like you should there could be serious issues later on that could have been avoided. That is why having a pap smear, mammogram, and your quarterly (or however it is your personal HIV doctor does it)labs done like they should be. I am glad that both times I came back negative for cancer because I honestly don't think I could have handled another health issue at that time. I encourage you to check out that study and to look into others like it as I did, and look into taking the steps you need to remain as healthy as possible.

Tags: cancer, cervical, HIV, HPV, pap, smears, women

Recently a friend called me to ask if a new friend of his could call me. He told me this friend needed someone to talk to who would kind of understand him. I told my friend sure that I would be glad to talk to him and offer what support I could.

The man calls me back later using my friend's cell phone since he doesn't have one of his own. I found out he had just recently lost his mother and then shortly after was diagnosed HIV positive. He's faced a lot of stigma where he lives right now. He and my friend both have had hard times finding jobs so have both been forced to seek shelter at some of the homeless shelters in their area. This man has been told by several who found out he had HIV to get out and not come back. Now when I talked to him the other day he'd only known his status for about 2 weeks and had already lost 95 lbs. As we all know this is a significant amount. When I asked him about what meds he's on he had a whole laundry list of them.

He told me when he met my friend he had already given up and was suicidal, but my friend then told him about me and put him in contact with me. I'm so grateful to have a wonderful friend with such a kind heart as to help someone else who needed some support. My friend has even told the man that he was moving back to Texas and told him to come with him. He said he would help him get the help he's not receiving where they are at now. I told the man that he was more than welcome to call me to talk when he needed to anytime. Just keep my new friend and my other friend in your thoughts and prayers they sure could use it.

My Journey to becoming a positive mother.

Let's see as far back as I can remember I wanted to be a mom. I had lost a child before I ever even knew I was positive which was so terribly hard on me. When I found out I was positive I gave up on that dream because I was scared of passing this on to my child. I asked my first ID doctor about tying my tubes and he flat out told me that he wouldn’t recommend it nor would any doctor do it without his recommendation. The reason for this was because I had no kids and I was under 25, I had just turned 24 at the time. When I and my ex-husband split I figured I would stay single and not have to worry about pregnancy again. I even told family members that I had given up and would just concentrate on being an aunt which I love to do anyway. I have always been very close to my oldest brothers children because his two oldest are 9 and 10 years younger than me so we grew up together.

Well then I met my now other half and we became friends. I honestly wasn’t looking to date him when I first met him in chat I was just having fun goofing around talking to people. I had been very up front with him about my status and with others I talked to in the chat room as well. Well then he and I got to talking not just in the chat room but also on the phone. Soon we were telling people we were an item and made arrangements for him to come visit me a few times over the next month. Well on one of those visits we decided to sleep together, and of course since I didn’t want to infect him we used protection. Well the protection apparently failed and I got pregnant with our daughter, and I knew that my personal values wouldn’t allow me to do anything else but to have her.

I was so stressed and worried about passing HIV to her through my whole pregnancy. Since I lost a child previously as well as being positive I was considered a high risk pregnancy. I did everything the doctors told me to do and took the meds religiously. I almost lost her several times due to stress, but like I tell everyone she was my little fighter and was determined to be born. I had to get a C-section because my doctor preferred not to take a chance on vaginal delivery. For the first six weeks of her life she had to take a liquid version of what I took when pregnant, and she had to be get tested every 3 months. When she turned 18 months she got her first negative test and at 2 years she got her second so she was officially HIV negative.
Now she’s 7 and is my greatest joy in life. Due to other health issues I wound up getting a hysterectomy so she will be my only child. She does have siblings though from her dad an older sister and brother. I feel very lucky in how things turned out with her.

Like the title says this is a bit off topic, but I love these commercials. I have always felt that saying things are "gay" is so offensive. I love that GLSEN is doing these PSA's because people, not just young people, don't think before they speak. So I figured I would share that I totally support their efforts in this. Here is the link to their site: http://thinkb4youspeak.com/

I decided to dig out my paperwork from the day I got my diagnosis result so I could see for sure what day exactly that was. I know I always thought I wouldn’t forget that date, but while I totally remember the events of the day I actually forgot the date. Why I keep thinking even after having looked at the paperwork that it was March of 2001 I’m not really sure lol. As of May 31st of this year I will have celebrated 10 years since receiving my diagnosis. I also just celebrated my 34th birthday which was a really good day. I am so grateful for every day!

I am now doing more work for my friend and favorite author, Yasmine Galenorn. I had been doing mod work for her discussion group and forums for a couple of years and in Jan I added being her fan mail assistant to my duties. I enjoy it so much but it keeps me super busy.